Chapter 2: Disappointed in One Sided Love


The presentation day has arrived, I was sitting behind Peter in this course but the seat keeps changing and I always find the seat which is near him or can see him well. His group came up to stand in front of classmates and lecturer. Suddenly, my eyes met his and he gave me a quick smile. My heart started beating very fast and I gave him a smile too but then I turned my face to look at the board. I feel like someone is staring at me and when I followed my sense the I saw Stefan was staring at me. He always in the same class as me since semester 1. I think Stefan has something behind his action toward me but he is always quiet and being like a robot and sometime he is cruel to me. He is good at study but he doesn’t show any expression during presentation or he has no close friends at all, but I know he has one and that one is me. The presentation has finished and everyone clap for Peter’s group plus; the lecturer appreciates his group for well-prepared and can answer all the questions with amazing explanation. When Peter arrived the table, he turned his face to me and asked me about how was his presentation, then I replied, “it was amazing!”.

Peter added, “Really, do you like my presentation?”

I answered him right quick without hearing his full question, “Yes, I do like it.”

I added, you are always amazing and sweet then he turned back to face the board with a sweet smile. Actually, I know I am too much because I really want him to know that I like him a lot, but I am not sure he has girlfriend or not. Anyway, I have to follow my heart because I am a girl who is brave and never give up.

Short break is coming and Lecturer is announcing that we can have 15 minutes break. Immediately, I didn’t see Peter because I was busy taking my purse out of my bag and then I walk straight to the cafeteria to buy bread and water. It was an unexpected moment which I wished I could reverse the time, so that I could stay in class and not to see something I didn’t want to see. My heart stopped beating and face is getting white like I saw a ghost. Crossing the pathway to the cafeteria, I saw Peter was sitting with a short little cute girl and I guessed she is younger than me. She has a very beautiful shape with small eyes and her eyes like she is Chinese. She is around 1. 55cm and her skin is very bright and soft. They are sitting on the bench and drinking coffee with a laughing talking. Moreover, they are laughing at each other with eyes contact that everyone should be very jealous because of their conversation. I turned back and walk to cafeteria without breathing; I know Peter doesn’t notice that I was staring at both of them. I am so sad and disappointed plus; I don’t want to go to the classroom. I was sitting in the cafeteria and Stefan is appearing in front of me and ask me, “are you okay?” he asked me with worried sound.

I looked up to see him standing and reply with a silly voice, “of course, I am”. What the hack by asking me this question? I added.

Stefan relieved his breath and continued looking at me and added his sentence; I know you well, so don’t lie me. “Do you want to go somewhere?” he asked and look at me.

I don’t want anything but I want to go to class now. Do you want to go now? I asked him.

Stefan replied, yes, let go and let finish our session then I’ll take you home and don’t say, “NO”. I know your sister drops you off.

I have no time to say as he knows me well. Then we headed to class together; we didn’t talk on the way to classroom.

Sitting behind Peter makes me feel tearing inside my heart. I was so quiet and I didn’t talk to Peter until the class ended and Peter was busy with his seatmate, so he didn’t have time to pay attention to me. I left class without saying goodbye to Peter as usual. I had a quick glance at him and I saw he was opening his mouth about to say goodbye to me but I didn’t turn my face to meet his. I know I did wrong but I am not yet ready for this situation.