Chapter 7: I Have Known 


She is extraordinary beautiful and brave and she makes my heart beat too fast every time I saw her smile. May is a friendly girl and so straight-forward which I don’t want to close to her but I cannot help because she keeps coming to me that makes me feel very uncomfortable. I don’t know how can she know that I love iced-black coffee and I have group meeting. I have known that she has crush on me since 1st semester, but I try to keep our relationship as a classmate. I try to show every time we are together by showing respect and treat everyone in the group and her the same to avoid the confusion but I think she doesn’t. Anyway, I purposely hiding her about my girlfriend because at that time, my relationship wasn’t good. I might be mean but I cannot help because she is beautiful and I also knew she likes me. 
One morning, I woke up with one notification, I had a look and I saw Zoey’s name then I unlocked quickly and checked her message. She stated in her message that “Good morning Honey! I miss you! Do you miss me?” I replied, “Good morning little babe! I miss you! Are you stop angry at me?” I asked.
“a little bit but I miss u more than angry.” She replied. “Should I take you to school this afternoon? “I asked. “yes, please man, thanks, so see you this afternoon! Love” Zoey replied. Zoey is always sweet and cute but sometimes she acts like a baby that doesn’t listen to any reasons of mine. She doesn’t care much about me because I am older than her. She is 1st year student in college and she is only one daughter and the youngest one in her family. During break time, I ran very quickly to see Zoey as we promised to have snack together but my mind wish that May would not see me and Zoey. After leaving class, I was about to say goodbye to May but she acted very strange this time and my mind thought that “may might be see me and Zoey, but if she saw she would ask me because she is a straight-forward person, so why? Is she sick or angry with Stefan?” my conscious told me, “why I care about May’s feeling?” I texted May and asked her after back from dropping Zoey, but when I see her replied “my chest is tightness.” It is strange like I have never felt like this before when I am with Zoey. I didn’t continue asking her and I try to stay far from her as much as I can. About 30 mns later, I was so happy when I saw her request in FB then I accepted it right away and she also followed my IG that’s why I cannot let her know about my girlfriend. Actually, I don’t love her but I don’t want to lose her; I just want to see her smile and the way she tries to approach me. To be honest, I know about how Stefan’s feel toward May as I see Stefan is always follow May everywhere she goes. May might be known but she acts innocent according to the way she tries to ignore the eye contact of Stefan during group meeting and the presentation. I know all of these that’s why I try to show May about my feelings to keep her confusion so she would not look back or giving up on me. On the day of raining, I tried to follow May and find a good chance to stay near her to accompany her and that chance has arrived, when Stenfan left, I walked toward her and finally, I could act as her lover for a short time. I like that moment and I love the way she’s scared; it seems like she is a bird that cannot because of injuring and I came to rescue. Her eyes incredibly brightly and charming; I cannot take my eyes out off hers. I was lying on my bed and finished texted her; I keep remembering the way we were holding hands and I saw her shape through her wet dress which make me want to hug her and kiss her eyes at that moment but I have to wake up from that dream now. In the afternoon, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to May and I did. May seemed to be very disappointed and I was ached inside as well but I cannot show her nor can Zoey. I try to keep distance from May and hide from her as well. When I saw her eyes were looking outside of the window, I was hiding in the copy room I was so hurt and very sad but I have no choice. Moreover, this sad cannot compare with the painful of seeing her with Stefan.